And how to overcome resistance.
“Life is like a book—you have to turn the page to start a new chapter.”
– Anonymous
Have you ever found yourself in a position where you wanted to start something new but felt like something inside of you was holding you back? If so, you aren’t alone.
About three months ago, I had an idea to start a blog that shared the things that I love and believe in with the world. The excitement fled through my body, and I quickly started the project of building this website. As days went on, I noticed how the excitement started to fade. I recently found myself having entirely abandoned the project, but that wasn’t what I truly wanted. I wanted to share my considerations with the world. I became curious about this gradual lack of desire, which brought me to the question, ‘Why do humans often struggle with starting something new?’ Is it that our attention span is too short? Is it fear? Are our brains just hardwired like this?
Well, according to research, it could be all of the above.
A Lack of Focus
Our world today is overflowing with distractions. Between our cell phones, those short 20-minute episode shows that we can go down the rabbit hole with (myself included), or even that siren we hear going down the street - things that can easily distract our focus are all around us.
Research suggests that:
· We spend an average of 11 minutes on a task before getting distracted
· It takes about 25 minutes to return to the task at hand after getting distracted
With numbers like this, it doesn’t come as much of a surprise that we sometimes struggle to meet the goal of starting something new. Being surrounded by distractions is something that many may be chemically addicted to without even knowing it.
Dopamine, often known as the chemical that drives us to search for reward (i.e. checking our phones to see if we have any new notifications or likes on Instagram), is released each time we unveil something new in expectance of a reward, big or small. New things have the potential to reward us - our brains like that. This could be why the average American checks their phone once every ten minutes. What could we possibly HAVE to look at our phones once every ten minutes for? Odds are we don’t. It’s more likely that this mindless checking is just an impulse. You see, when we have too much dopamine we can lose impulse control, making it hard to stay on track. This is just one way where a lack of focus could keep you away from beginning that exciting new project you wanted to start.
Fear
When you think about it, our primitive ancestors had to proceed with caution when encountering new things. It was unknown if something was a risk or threat. For example, who was the first person to try a tomato? I wouldn’t have wanted it to be me and am sure that person felt fear before trying the bright red fleshy fruit. Who was the first person to learn that not all spiders were a danger? Exposure to new was scary, and that preliminary fear helped us to be where we are today as an enduring species.
The thing about doing new things is it leaves a lot of room for the unknown. This often creates a feeling of discomfort that stems from fear. Sometimes we must leave behind what we know for the new task at hand, but even if we don’t, willingly stepping into something with unknown consequences requires a lot of courage.
Fear corresponds with avoidance, which in hand corresponds with starting something new. It all links back to the biology that once kept us alive.
"Fear doesn’t stop death, fear stops life"
Biology
The human brain contains roughly 86 billion neurons and an estimated 100 trillion synapses (the connectors between neurons in the brain and neurons in the rest of the body), and it’s safe to say that researchers have yet to develop deep understanding of this complex, intricately connected structure. Although there’s much that we don’t know, researchers have been able to gain insight to the hardwiring that makes us resistant to new.
Settled in the middle of the brain, just in front of the hippocampus (the memory control center), is a structure of cells known as the amygdala. One of the amygdala’s primary role is to detect threatening stimuli, and to decipher how to appropriately respond to said threat. However, it takes a few steps for stimuli to reach the amygdala.
Most of our day is dictated by something called the basal ganglia… this is what is functioning when we perform our habitual, everyday tasks such as brewing coffee or tying our shoes. When we try to make a change to our everyday tasks, the prefrontal cortex (which controls insight and impulse control) gets triggered; and being directly linked to the amygdala, often signals the amygdala that it’s time to go to work as well. This is where our fight, flight, or freeze response kicks in.
In the context of starting new things, the ‘freeze’ response is likely to occur. When the brain goes into survival mode, problem-solving and creativity is not top priority. This is where instead of starting that new thing with confidence, we sometimes face it with seemingly unexplained feelings of fear and anxiety. This, again, can potentially cause us to distract ourselves from the “threat” at hand (thanks nature). No, but really, this development got us to where we are today, so while it can be frustrating, I for one am thankful for the work it’s done through the centuries.
Tips for Overcoming Resistance to the New
Create an ecosystem of support
It’s important for us to have a system of support to uplift and encourage us. While it’s not entirely clear whether or not we were born to be autonomous creatures or part of a ‘pack’, there’s no denying that it feels good to love and to be loved. While there are people in our lives who can help to encourage and motivate us, it doesn’t only have to be in these connections where we find inspiration. Practicing things and thoughts that make you feel loved and confident, or that bring you into a flow state will allow your mind to feel nurtured and safe, creating an environment that encourages creativity and desire.
Moments to choose
Remind yourself that every day is filled with moments to choose. These moments of choice can either bring us closer to where we want to be or keep us away from that place.
Embrace the feelings of uncertainty
Emotions are teachers, and when we fail to listen to them they often grow more and more persistent in what they’re trying to convey. Allowing your emotions to flow will help you to feel free and ready to move forward toward your goal.
Let go of the idea of perfection
It’s possible for perfectionism to be of great service,
Make a list of small, actionable steps – ones that get you excited
Remind yourself of the positive consequences too
According to Google, the definition of consequence is “a result or effect of an action or condition.” So, while we typically equivalate ‘consequences’ with some negative or bad, it doesn’t always have to be. In fact, success is just as much of a consequence as failure.
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